You know you're a cat fanatic when... learn to type with a cat sleeping on your arm. can clean up gopher guts without losing your appetite for dinner.

...your vet offers to name the new wing of the clinic after you. keep sticky lint pick-up rollers in every room and in the car. give up reading your book/magazine/newspaper rather than move the cat. buy odor neutralizer by the gallon.

...your list of inevitable things reads: "Death, taxes, and hairballs." sleep like a contortionist because the cats won't move.

...other people pull out photos of their children/grandchildren/niece/nephew and you pull out photos of your cats. stay seated until your butt aches because the cat is sleeping so happily on your lap.

...your keyboard is held together with cat hair.

...your sofa is MADE of cat hair.

...your herb garden is all catnip.

...the vet staff instantly know it's your voice on the phone.

...the local feed store owner is always very happy to see you. buy cat litter in 50 lb. bags.

...your cat can get you to open a door by staring at it. give up on alarm clocks because you know the cats are going to wake you before it goes off anyway.

...your house is Instant Death to anyone allergic to cats.

...your home library has more books about cats than the city library.

...your best friend can recognize your individual cats' voices over the phone.

...people gasp and say, "You have HOW MANY cats?!!" create web pages for all your cats and include things like, "You know you're a cat fanatic when..."

© 11/14/97 Christy Marx
May not be reproduced without permission (but feel free to ask for it).

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