Ally McBeal

Videocassette Package Copy
written by Katherine Lawrence - 09/17/99

NOTE: First Draft ©Twentieth Century-Fox Home Entertainment

Set of 3 tapes:

Ally on Relationships

Sex, Ticking Clocks and a Dancing Baby

Ally and the Therapist

Over-arching description for set:


Find a pillow to hug and keep the tissues handy. Here are six of the best episodes of the award-winning First Season of Ally McBeal to touch your heart, and fill your life with laughter. From the dancing baby, to the Fish-isms, to the most unusual therapist on television, this collection is a must-have for anyone who has ever been single.


Ever dreamed of the perfect relationship? Then you understand the ups and downs of David E. Kelly's poster child for insecurity, Ally McBeal. The best of First Season is now yours in this six-episode collection, available on video for the first time.

VOLUME I - Ally on Relationships


"Men are like gum anyway. After you chew they lose their flavor." -- Ally McBeal

If only Ally could believe that. But her childhood sweetheart, Billy, works at her new law firm, and Billy is not only married, but his wife, Georgia, is gorgeous and a lawyer too! Then Ally loses her first case, an "easy win." Can it get worse? Maybe she should follow senior partner Richard Fish's advice, "Make enough money; everything else will follow."


"I'm fine. I just have a small problem adjusting to change." -- Ally McBeal

Ally McBeal quits one law firm after being groped by a senior attorney and lands at the firm where her childhood sweetheart, Billy, works. She hasn't seen him since law school. Only, now he's married. Talk about change! Talk about adjustments!


"To me, the true meaning of Christmas has always been Santa. Still is. You're allowed to believe in something you know doesn't exist." -- Ally McBeal

Others want to believe in what doesn't exist too. Ally has a case in front of Judge "Whipper" Cone (Dyan Cannon), a married couple who want to marry a third woman for a legal threesome. Georgia wants to believe that Billy's friendship with Ally hasn't really improved her marriage. Elaine is the only one living her fantasy -- she has her own "Ikettes" as backup for "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" at the firm's Christmas party.


"If women really wanted to change society, they could do it. I plan to change it. I just want to get married first." -- Ally McBeal

It's Christmas, the worst time to be single. Then Richard Fish hands Ally a case of a threesome that wants a legally approved three-person marriage, and Georgia insists on a discussion with Ally and Billy about their relationship. The only person having a happy Christmas is Elaine, who's found her own "Ikettes" to back her up on "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" for the firm's Christmas Party.

VOLUME II - Sex, Ticking Clocks and a Dancing Baby


"We're women. We have double standards to live up to." -- Ally McBeal

A most impressive male model in sculpture class and a nineteen-year-old defendant accused of assault for punching a guy who insulted his date -- it's an embarrassment of male pulchritude for Ally, especially when the male model asks her out. But then Ally begins to see a dancing baby. Renee thinks it represents her biological clock. John Cage suggests she give it what it wants. What's a girl to do? Other than say yes?


"I'm twenty-seven and everything bothers me." -- Ally McBeal

Ally's court case with a cute nineteen-year-old defendant, a boxing match, cigar smoking in the office, a male model who asks her out, and a hallucination of a dancing baby -- there's a lot to bother her. But the male model is leaving town Sunday, so she says yes. A simple "no" suffices for the boxing match and the cigars, and the court case ends up a victory for Cro-Magnon mankind. But what about the dancing baby?


"It wasn't supposed to be like this, Renee." -- Ally McBeal

Not only does the belligerent woman at the grocery store insult Ally while grabbing the last can of chips from Ally's hand, but she sues Ally for assault when Ally trips her. Brought before the Bar, her emotional stability in question, Ally and her friends provide a less than stellar defense. Can it get any worse? Oh yeah, Ally's license to practice law has been suspended and someone is interested in marketing Elaine's face bra.


"Sometimes I'm tempted to become a street person, cut off from society. But then I wouldn't get to wear my outfits." -- Ally McBeal

Ally's license to practice is suspended by the Bar Association while they investigate her emotional stability after she intentionally trips an obnoxious woman in the grocery store and accidentally shoplifts a tube of contraceptive jelly when she's arrested. Plus, there are rumors around the courthouse that she's "a little erratic." Topping it off, her friends make things worse while defending her. It's definitely not Ally's best week.

VOLUME III - Ally and the Therapist


"You need a theme song. Something that you can play in your head to make you feel better." -- Dr. Tracey Clark

Stressed out by her new case, defending a doctor accused of transplanting a pig's liver into a woman without her consent, Ally tries kickboxing. It makes things worse, especially when the instructor schedules a match between Ally and Georgia. Ally tries throwing shoes, and accidentally hits John Cage. Finally she accepts John's recommendation to see his therapist, Dr. Tracey Clark (Tracey Ullman), a shrink who not only has her own laugh track machine, but advises Ally to get a theme song.


"I didn't think a therapist was supposed to call her patients nuts." -- Ally McBeal

That may be true of most therapists, but not the unorthodox Dr. Tracey Clark (Tracey Ullman), John Cage's therapist. Not only does Dr. Clark tell Ally to go ahead with her scheduled kickboxing match with Georgia, but tells her to get a theme song, "something with bounce." Will this help relieve Ally's stress over a "real" case, defending an attractive doctor from a malpractice suit? Or is it just another chance to fantasize?


"You need Pips." -- Dr. Tracey Clark

The theme song isn't enough for Ally. Dr. Tracey Clark (Tracey Ullman) recommends Pips. And they work! Too well. The courage they give Ally scares Dr. Greg Butters. Fortunately he's not all Ally has to think about. There's the ten-year-old "little person" opposing counsel who cries when Ally turns down his opening settlement offer, and a sexual harassment lawsuit that has Richard Fish arguing that women should qualify for protection under the Federal Disabilities Act because they're women!


"I don't need to pay a therapist to give me crap. I have a roommate who does it for free." -- Ally McBeal

Dr. Tracy Clark (Tracey Ullman) tells Ally, "You can't stand being liked for your sex appeal and you can't stand not being liked for it." Then she tells Ally to get rid of the dancing baby. "First, the baby. Get him." Unfortunately, Ally kicks an opposing lawyer thinking the "little person" is her dancing baby in a trench coat and fedora. It gets worse. The "little person" is nine-years-old, and cries as a negotiating tactic. Does anything ever go right for Ally?


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